Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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