party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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