haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
