puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize