i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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