your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
