we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
