i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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