where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
