And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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