The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
