Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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