he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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