yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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