y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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