it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
