Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize