tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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