why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
