so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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