So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
