let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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