Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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