Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
