I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
