Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
