It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
