so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
