it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
