singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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