How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize