I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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