i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
