Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
