She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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