Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize