we're blogging at a bar
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
