Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Randomize
