Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Is it penis luge time yet?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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