If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
