Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I think I just sharted jello shots
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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