please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
