Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
