He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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