The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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