So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
