I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
