he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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