Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
