the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize