today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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