There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
