We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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