Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm too high and old for this...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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