she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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